Driving on an interstate should feel like this.

Not like this.

Or this.

Screen Shot 2017-07-01 at 5.46.56 PM

I drive this 196 miles round-trip from Los Angeles to San Diego at least once a month. At 70 mph, it should take less than 3 hours. It always takes 5+. I’ve made the trip twenty or thirty times now.

I love driving. I’m the first to offer to drop someone off, or pick someone up. If I could road trip everywhere I would. Instead of flying home last Christmas, I drove the 1,792 miles from Los Angeles to Memphis by myself. On the way back my girlfriend joined me, and we drove another 1,792 miles.

I loved all of those 3,584. Including this one at Canyon de Chelle.


I hate these 196.

I can only listen to so much of Chapo Trap House shitting on a superhero movie I haven’t seen, or two clinically anxious girls discussing why they prefer this murder to that in start and go traffic.

A phone call could be a solution, but I literally feel guilty calling someone I haven’t spoken to in a while, just because I’m bored or losing my mind. So, I don’t call. That way I’m not selfish. See how that works? Except I am still selfish. Because I never call.

Maybe I could call anyway and offer something of value. Even if it’s just my ear.


Or I could just turn Chapo Trap House back on, but fuck those guys. I mean, I’m glad they exist. But that doesn’t mean I wanna hear them shit on Wonder Woman for half an hour. That said, Amber owned the episode. Or at least the part I listened to. So, she owned like the first 20 minutes. She really attacked the mic and did what the guys do all the time, in every episode — demand that the world revolve around them for a moment. Will, Matt and Felix constantly makin’ moves for conversation domination. And because they’re so gosh durned friendly with each other they know to step back or step forward as the others make their play. Amber usually lean back. So I just wanna give her a big thumbs up for really doing battle with these guys in the Wonder Woman episode. You know, going to war with them. All to destroy Wonder Woman.





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